Just another 10 months ! Just another 10 months before I can graduate from college and work at the society. I just wish the day could come earlier.
Most of the people will think that college life is much more enjoyable, we can have a group of friends that always have meal together, study together, chat together, gossip together. But for me, facing the challenge of the society, the warfare of the reality is more desirable for me. The reason is just simply because I am poor, and I need to earn as much as I could.
Still got another 2 weeks before CNY. What do I expecting?? I got no guts to think about that, at least not at this moment. Compare to last year, 2012 is considered so much better. I just wish the fortune things can happening continuously.
So much plans to achieve after my graduation, so much that I wish I could do it right now. After I graduated, I wish I could take another responsibility in my life, responsibility to take care of someone I really love her. Too early to talk about this right now, too early when she is just my friend right now. But frankly speaking, I really have feeling toward her, feeling which is more than just friend. No point to talk about relationship when I am still got nothing achieved. I just wish 10 months is not too long to make me lost another precious one in my life. *Praying*
Wednesday, 11 January 2012
Monday, 2 January 2012
New path in 2012.
The first trip in 2012, Pulau Ketam. Enjoy the trip so much, not because of the place, but because we are all together. The enjoyment is just solely came from us, the moment when all of us are gathered.
Can't believe that this will spoken up by me, from someone who are not well in talking such "sweet" things for friendship. If everyone should have their own social circle, then I think I found it, the group of friends that I can really enjoy when I be with them. So comfortable, and simple. Funny to tell, that they are just some new friends of mine, or friends that not really close in the past.
I don't really know them so well, and I don't even want to know about everything of them. Conflicts appear between friends when know so much, and involved so much in each other's life. It might wrong, but I really feel that. To me, a true friends should share enjoyment, but not share problems. Nietzsche said before, "Friends share joy, not compassion, make friend."
Can't believe that this will spoken up by me, from someone who are not well in talking such "sweet" things for friendship. If everyone should have their own social circle, then I think I found it, the group of friends that I can really enjoy when I be with them. So comfortable, and simple. Funny to tell, that they are just some new friends of mine, or friends that not really close in the past.
I don't really know them so well, and I don't even want to know about everything of them. Conflicts appear between friends when know so much, and involved so much in each other's life. It might wrong, but I really feel that. To me, a true friends should share enjoyment, but not share problems. Nietzsche said before, "Friends share joy, not compassion, make friend."
Sunday, 1 January 2012
2012 !
Its 2012 now, a new chapter of life. Wondering what can I achieve in this year, wondering what I want to achieve in this year. Will this year be better? Better than the god damn 2011? I believe it will.
What I want to do in 2012? Basically is just about the same, just about money, body, and girl. Sounds weird, but that's what I want to put it into my list for the aims of 2012.
Money
Just another 10 months, I will be graduate from college and able to start working after that. Damn !! I just wish time could pass faster. I really can't wait to get into the warfare of the society, to change my life. 2011 really being so cruel to me, I lost so many in 2011. When something lost, something actually gained. If all this never happened, I will never realize that money can be this important, more important than I ever thought of. Without a base of wealth, everything became not stable at all, even in every kind of relationship. In 2012, I wish I could at least have some saving in my saving account. Target: 4 digits.
Body
So sad to talking about this. I've been involve in the art of body building for such a long time, yet, I still stuck in the level of a novice. I spent so much time in learning about the arts of body building, but just feel like I still have so much more to learn about. In 2012, I wish to learn more about the art of body building, and about the nutrition. Besides that, I wish I could have opportunity to learn more about martial arts, because I really so crazy about that. Target: Get a six packs before 2013.
Girl
I fell in love with someone, someone that I never expected before. I can't even tell why I will, and how I will. Because it just happened, happened with no reason, just because I got the feel toward her. But feeling is feeling, I still have to face the truth, the truth that I just being too poor now to have her as my gf. I dare not to think that she will fall in love with me, she is just too good for a poor guy like me. She is the first one to give me this kind of special feeling, feeling that really willing to do anything for her even she don't even notice that at all. She is the first one that I really willing to give, and never ask for return, and I swear, she will be the last one. I didn't expect too much, all I hope is that she will not hate me. I don't care what kind relationship we will be, because no matter what, I will still always treat her the best I could. If she is reading this, I wish to tell her. "You will be the last girl that I love. Now I might not reach your expectation yet, but I will continue work hard to reach the level you expecting for. And please allow me to love you."
What I want to do in 2012? Basically is just about the same, just about money, body, and girl. Sounds weird, but that's what I want to put it into my list for the aims of 2012.
Money
Just another 10 months, I will be graduate from college and able to start working after that. Damn !! I just wish time could pass faster. I really can't wait to get into the warfare of the society, to change my life. 2011 really being so cruel to me, I lost so many in 2011. When something lost, something actually gained. If all this never happened, I will never realize that money can be this important, more important than I ever thought of. Without a base of wealth, everything became not stable at all, even in every kind of relationship. In 2012, I wish I could at least have some saving in my saving account. Target: 4 digits.
Body
So sad to talking about this. I've been involve in the art of body building for such a long time, yet, I still stuck in the level of a novice. I spent so much time in learning about the arts of body building, but just feel like I still have so much more to learn about. In 2012, I wish to learn more about the art of body building, and about the nutrition. Besides that, I wish I could have opportunity to learn more about martial arts, because I really so crazy about that. Target: Get a six packs before 2013.
Girl
I fell in love with someone, someone that I never expected before. I can't even tell why I will, and how I will. Because it just happened, happened with no reason, just because I got the feel toward her. But feeling is feeling, I still have to face the truth, the truth that I just being too poor now to have her as my gf. I dare not to think that she will fall in love with me, she is just too good for a poor guy like me. She is the first one to give me this kind of special feeling, feeling that really willing to do anything for her even she don't even notice that at all. She is the first one that I really willing to give, and never ask for return, and I swear, she will be the last one. I didn't expect too much, all I hope is that she will not hate me. I don't care what kind relationship we will be, because no matter what, I will still always treat her the best I could. If she is reading this, I wish to tell her. "You will be the last girl that I love. Now I might not reach your expectation yet, but I will continue work hard to reach the level you expecting for. And please allow me to love you."
Saturday, 24 December 2011
Hangover !
My Christmas Eve is so scary, or should it my shame.
I was HANGOVER !
Never thought that this will happened to me.
But it make me realized that how scary alcohol could be.
Because of that, I decided to stop touching alcohol.
Not even single drop.
I knew I really too over for last night.
Hopefully it wouldn't give a bad impact in my future life.
I was HANGOVER !
Never thought that this will happened to me.
But it make me realized that how scary alcohol could be.
Because of that, I decided to stop touching alcohol.
Not even single drop.
I knew I really too over for last night.
Hopefully it wouldn't give a bad impact in my future life.
Tuesday, 20 December 2011
No confidence
Since when? I can't even know since when I lost all my confidence. I used to be a guy who are very confidence about myself, I means, "USED TO". Now? I just a guy who are failed and got no confidence left.
Recently I just being so afraid, so worry. When some female old friends talked to me, I will first thought, "are them thought I am their others friend?" Such a shame. I don't even got the guts to ask for a date with a girl even I close to her, simply just because I afraid to let her know that how poor I am.
Still remember someone told me before that I should be glad, because I can learned something very fast, my knowledge is a gift from my parents. Sounds nice, but reality is not. In reality, no one care about how smart you are, what knowledge you get. Sounds pessimistic, but this is what I learned from my life.
2011 is not a good year for me, too many bad things happened in this year. However, I did learned many in 2011, learned something that should have learn it long time ago. Now I finally understood why parents always tell us not to get a partner when we are still studying, because they knew the reality. Seriously, I really got no guts to fall in love with anyone any more, I just worry that I will waste another girl's time.
Poverty is not scary, but it does when it stand beside on something call "RICH". Confidence will only built when it got its partner call " MONEY"
Recently I just being so afraid, so worry. When some female old friends talked to me, I will first thought, "are them thought I am their others friend?" Such a shame. I don't even got the guts to ask for a date with a girl even I close to her, simply just because I afraid to let her know that how poor I am.
Still remember someone told me before that I should be glad, because I can learned something very fast, my knowledge is a gift from my parents. Sounds nice, but reality is not. In reality, no one care about how smart you are, what knowledge you get. Sounds pessimistic, but this is what I learned from my life.
2011 is not a good year for me, too many bad things happened in this year. However, I did learned many in 2011, learned something that should have learn it long time ago. Now I finally understood why parents always tell us not to get a partner when we are still studying, because they knew the reality. Seriously, I really got no guts to fall in love with anyone any more, I just worry that I will waste another girl's time.
Poverty is not scary, but it does when it stand beside on something call "RICH". Confidence will only built when it got its partner call " MONEY"
Monday, 19 December 2011
$#@!*
!@#$% YOU God!!
Why you make my life so difficult !!
My life is getting worse and worse !!
Are you purposely??
@#$%!?*
Can't you just be little bit better to me??
If that's to make me grow tougher, at least give some bonus !
What I asked for is just so simple.
Why can't you just let it happen??
WHY !!
I lived for 19 years, but never been this difficult before.
PLEASE !!
Open your eyes and treat me better !
Wednesday, 14 December 2011
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