Hangover !

My Christmas Eve is so scary, or should it my shame.
I was HANGOVER !
Never thought that this will happened to me.
But it make me realized that how scary alcohol could be.
Because of that, I decided to stop touching alcohol.
Not even single drop.
I knew I really too over for last night.
Hopefully it wouldn't give a bad impact in my future life.

No confidence

Since when? I can't even know since when I lost all my confidence. I used to be a guy who are very confidence about myself, I means, "USED TO". Now? I just a guy who are failed and got no confidence left.

Recently I just being so afraid, so worry. When some female old friends talked to me, I will first thought, "are them thought I am their others friend?" Such a shame. I don't even got the guts to ask for a date with a girl even I close to her, simply just because I afraid to let her know that how poor I am.

Still remember someone told me before that I should be glad, because I can learned something very fast, my knowledge is a gift from my parents. Sounds nice, but reality is not. In reality, no one care about how smart you are, what knowledge you get. Sounds pessimistic, but this is what I learned from my life.

2011 is not a good year for me, too many bad things happened in this year. However, I did learned many in 2011, learned something that should have learn it long time ago. Now I finally understood why parents always tell us not to get a partner when we are still studying, because they knew the reality. Seriously, I really got no guts to fall in love with anyone any more, I just worry that I will waste another girl's time.

Poverty is not scary, but it does when it stand beside on something call "RICH". Confidence will only built when it got its partner call " MONEY"

$#@!*

!@#$% YOU God!!

Why you make my life so difficult !!

My life is getting worse and worse !!

Are you purposely??

@#$%!?*

Can't you just be little bit better to me??

If that's to make me grow tougher, at least give some bonus !

What I asked for is just so simple.

Why can't you just let it happen??

WHY !!

I lived for 19 years, but never been this difficult before.

PLEASE !!

Open your eyes and treat me better !

Thanks to Gabriel ! For all these MV

This is from Youtube, because lazy to upload.

Stressed !

STRESSED !!
I never been this stress before, at least for last two years.
2011, a year that make a lot of changes to myself.
Sometimes,
I wondering what is the purpose of my existence?
What am I going to be in the future?
What should I do now before I graduate?
Study? Body Building? Working? Social life?
Which one should I give up?
Body building? No ! That's my reason of exist.
Study? Of course impossible, that's my future.
Working? Wish to, but can't, that's my income.
After all.....
I should give up social life.
Life might be bored like hell without it, but forced to be.
Without car, money, and achievement.
Can it really get a social life? My answer is no.
Life still have to move on, no point to grieving here.
Fight for the life, and stay alive !

I am going to insane !

I am really going mad !
My life messed up, just because of someone.
I didn't expect much, just a little.
Just wish not being treated as a stranger, that's all.
But......
Still being treated like a stranger.
WHY !
Nothing affect when someone treat me a stranger.
But if someone used to be close to you did, it terrible.

那些年，我們一起追的女孩

I like this movie so much !
I lost the desire of be in love since I back to single life.
but....
This movie make me feel like want to in love again.
I just want to be like the guy, to love someone that I really love.
Its okay if she not belong to me, because when you really love someone, you just have to know.
You don't have to be with her, you just have to let her know how much you love her.
Flirty is the best moment, things might change if turned to couple.

She is so pretty !
Wondering how come no one like her in my life.
Hopefully in one day, I will find my " 沈佳宜" 
To love her more than myself.....

Worried !

Final exam is coming soon,

yet, I not even know what I studied for this semester at all.

WORRIED !

Friends began to build their body, more and more of them.

They are just started, know nothing much about body building.

But......

They are so motivated, and me is begin to losing motivation.

WORRIED !

Worked for 3 years as a part- timer.

But 0.00 for my saving.

WORRIED !

DAMN ! I am just so worried right now !

There's so much more~

I realized that I am so tiny,
What I seen, where I been, what I knew, who I met.
There are just too tiny, just too small of the part of the world.
I used to think something is most important,
But,
I was wrong.
I used to be stubborn, always think thought what I seen is all of it.
Too naive, too foolish.
I get my vision, vision to achieve for my better future.
What I thought was important, became not so important anymore.
What I said I want it back, the desire no longer there.
What I want??
Just like what I mention in my blog title.
"To express my thought, to be myself"
I am not going to be what others want me to be, not going to be part of other's plan.
I just want to be myself, be the one I want myself to be.
Love is not so important for me anymore, only wealth are matter.

Arnold Schwarzenegger

December 2011

Its December now, the last month of the year of 2011.
Many changes for me in 2011,
Something changed better, something worse.
Its the last month of 2011 now,
yet, I still not achieve anything.
In this last month of 2011,
I want to make a change,
I want to achieve something.
31 days to go...........
LET"S WORK HARD FOR IT !!!

Time to make a change.

I think its time to make a change,
a structurally change,
from the outlooks, to the mentality.
I knew I said many times before,
but this time I really want to prove,
prove that I could really get better,
to be better for whom I really care.

The aim to achieve before graduation:
1. To get a ripped body
2. To learn more about the direction.
3. To have a better time management.
4. To maintain my CGPA in grade of Merit level.
5. Save some money for vacation.
6. Get a better fashion sense
7. Patience.
8. Read more books

It should be more,
more that I could list out.
I am sucks,
Almost everything have to be change.
I will prove that I could change,
to a better man who qualify.
I will make it happen,
to happen in the way I want it to be.

Basically its same.

Just saw a post from a blog, its not about me, but I definitely understand the feeling.
From the post,
I guess what she is really want,
What she really expecting for.
She's right,
The decision is right,
Just like what a rational person should be.
Action is far more better than words,
An action could be better than telling thousand words,
that's what I've learned.
What the post about is just too similar to my case,
maybe really have to take some times.
Marathon is usually tougher than sprint,
but the fitness level is actually better in marathon.
Therefore,
I should take it as a long term marathon,
so that I could make it a greater success.

Still in love with you.

Move on !!!

I want to have this kind of body and get you back. Nothing is impossible !

Everything changed, but not friendship.

After all the changes, everything back to its basics. I thought they already alienated me, doesn't treat me as friend, but so glad that they are not.

I did many things wrong in the past, being too pessimistic and extremism, and lost all my treasure friend. But luckily I managed to changed, even still not good enough, but I really trying so hard for it.

I appreciate that you guys still treat me as friend, still willing to ask me out, after what I did in the past. I swear this time I would appreciate it, and never make the same mistake again. 

Instead of looking back, I better move forward.

Return to the origin.

Finally, after everything happened, it back to origin. I always think it would be better after I can graduate from college, always thought it could be like what I expected after that.

It suppose to be a long run, no doubt with that. But I never thought that it would start from the beginning, everything just like back to its origin, or even worse than ever. I am depressed, but I am not regret, I did what I want to do, with my own will.

Life is just like snake chess, some people might get the ladder and move faster; some might fall down because of someone else. But I always believe, if I continue playing, one day I will be at the finish point, it is just the matter of time.

Let's take it as a marathon.

I thought it should be the end, but its not.

After the dark, I found a sunlight.

Guiding me, and reminding me.

Maybe now I get nothing, far lesser than any others.

But,

I know it will not last forever, it's just matter of time.

I am not giving up, I just prepare myself to get better.

I always believe that patience is so important to gain something.

I knew it would happen, just the matter of time.

All I need is just a chance, a chance that might take long time to appear.

But I can wait, 

And I knew it will be a chance, maybe in one day in the future.

I preferred long term fighting than short-term,

Because,

Things come worthless without sacrifice, without waiting.

Damn it !! AGAIN?!

I knew it would happen, and finally, it happened. It always the same, no matter how best I try to play my role, but always something happened and make it became worse. I am not the kind of person who don't appreciate friendship, but there is always something that make me being alienate from them. Just like for example, when they having party, I always not able to attend, simply just because I have to work. Sometimes I even take off very early, before the event. But at last, they just changed the date. Haiz ~ Maybe I just not lucky enough, not lucky enough to get into the group, that's why I always been left out.

Love is not simple at all.

What is love? Just an emotion? A feeling?

It might be true. But, it is not everything, especially if you are in relationship.

Other than feeling, there are still things called RATIONAL.

Why people break up?

They got no feeling of love between them?

NO, not at all.

From what I saw, most of the people are loving others when they break up.

If love then why break up?

Because they thought rationally, they realized the reality.

You may still loving the person, but rational told you you can't be together.

We break up because we knew break up is the best decision for both good.

 Because we knew that a structural change is needed if we want it last forever.

Therefore, we always chosen to let go another, to let go them.

But we still concern about them, more than everyone would do, even their new partner.

We knew so well that we can't let go them, but we also knew we have to change,

Change better than ever and get them back to us.

Because we knew that,

We want no one, but them.

What I want to tell you.

I was so mad just when I got the news. I thought the feeling is still there and trying to do something silly. But so fortune, that I am rational enough. I spend two days to think about the same thing, about how should I react. Finally I figured out something. I am misunderstood about myself, I don't really want her back to me at this moment. Why I mad is because I still concern about her, maybe is a perception of a very good friend. ( maybe she feel I am annoying) Do I still love her? What I can say is, I dare not to do so, not before I start working and earning. What am I sure now is, I really do care about her. I guess she will think that I am annoying her, as annoying as a fly. But I don't care, because I can't lie that I am not concern about her anymore, either as a good friend? Or a silly guy who dare not to fall in love with her? I don't even know myself. She have a new life now, new people around her, I guess she must be happy about that. I don't know what she is thinking, but if she is reading this, I wish she could allow to be her good friend, like we used to be. To share, to play, to chat. I really wanna tell her that, she is one of the very important people in my life, she really changed me a lot, motivated me. At last, I hope that she won't ignore me after reading this. I mean nothing, just want to say that I really concern her as my best friend, as my ji mui.

The longest night ever ~~~

I am so upset right now, the kind of upset is just like a black belt karate fighter knocked out by a white belt fighter.

After 5 months, I thought it should be flashed by time, like a water color painting under the rain, being washing every day to clear the mark on the paper. But seems like I am wrong, I just overrated myself, overrated my thought, I just not good enough to forgot a feeling like flashing the toilet after pulling shit.

New life, new relationship, new partner. She is living amazingly. But me? still living like a mud, like a ship without wheel. Its a life with no direction, without achievement. So lost, like a kite losing the string that tight on him, falling to place that a mud should be. Feeling mad, impatience, and depressed; but, nothing I can do, no matter how am I feeling, I still not able to fight the reality, the cruel reality.

Things changed.

Saw post in my friend's blog, I don't think the content in the post are good for him now. What is that about? Its about his relationship with his gf. From that post, I can assume that they broke up, or maybe not, because I didn't read it all.

My philosophy changes so much since I back to single, the worst change is.....I AM AFRAID TO GIRLS ~~

I just simply afraid, the more beautiful they are, the frighten I am. Maybe I should claim that I am no confidence at all, from my wealth, and my outlook.I got the intelligence with me, but I can't make any benefit for myself from that.....yet.

I am afraid to have another relationship, even afraid to get closer to girls. My confidence is completely gone. People used to think that I am guy that are not going to get serious in love. But at this moment, I really afraid, afraid to have someone else to become a part in my life. Maybe I just can't manage to have a relationship now, I am still frightening about having a relationship.

Can my life have some excitement ??

My life is really boring like a zombie. I got no entertainment, no partner, no desire, no aim, no money. Sometimes I really getting worry about myself, I like not interesting in what I can do, yet, I being too passionate to things that I can't do.

I really sick of this kind of life ! I really wish to join my friends. Join them for a trip, for a party session in club, hang around with them. But I just can't make it. I got no time, no money. The most important is, no one willing to leave me a room for all these.

What can I do for this life? I think what can I do is to wait, wait until I can have the power to afford for what I always desired for. Time is the key element in my life now, other than that, I am just a man alone with myself.

Two Great martial artists in a great movie !

Fight !!!

Damn it !! I am so addicted to martial arts ! Boxing, MMA, and Muay Thai is the martial arts that I really want to learn. To prepare myself for learning martial arts in the future, I changed my training method, to improve my muscle endurance.


Unfortunately, I still can't get the opportunity for that. An opportunity to learn martial arts in this moment. So, what I can do is............Watch fighting movie !


These is some of the martial arts that I watched recently. They are all great in fighting scenes, story line, and also moral value.

Never Back Down 2: The Beat Down

Warriors !

Undisputed 3: Redemption

Real Steel !!

The purpose of life?

I am losing my passion toward what am I doing now. Body building, study, writing, relationship, friendship. Damn it !! I just wondering what kind of life I am having right now. A life with no one beside, been alienated, been criticized all the time, been looking down by everyone all the time. Sometimes really feel like live like a dead meat.

I always knew that I having a bad human relationship skill, no matter how hard I tried, it still remain hatred by others. I think maybe I really did a lot of things that give others reasons to hate me. But I knew one day, maybe a year, a decade. I will be able to build a better human relationship skill, at least not being hatred by others. Frankly speaking, I think no one is really willing to treat me as a friends, based on what they knew about my bad attitude. I always know the importance of having some friends in life, but, doesn't mean that I have to give up myself and just to follow what others think I should.

In this few months, there's many things happened. Each of those incidents taught me a lesson, a lesson that I really treasure. I lost relationship, I lost friendship, I lost motivation. For me, I am totally a failure now. What is the purpose of my life? I don't even tell anyone about my dream, because I knew it will be a joke for everyone. Things never worthy to tell before it really happened. I got a lot of idea on how to become someone that I desperate for. But at this moment, I really doubt about myself, worry about my future.

A successful person can take failure, and they will failure. Yet, they will never quit. I lost faith to God, but I won't lost faith to myself. What happening in my life now is giving chances for me to learn more than others. Experience is non-purchasable, the more I failed now, the more experience I could earn, and that will help me more for what I am going to do in the future. 

Fake supplements!? Oh no !!

Just read a news from internet. The news is telling that the market is having some sort of fake supplement. From gym products, and even in weight loss products and sexual enchantment.

I am actually going to buy few type s of supplement on November. I am worrying that those products I am going to buy whether is fake or not. I am not going to just spend RM 30 to buy a vitamin, but more than RM 400 to buy the complete set of supplement that a serious body builder does. If what I going to buy is fake, then I really have to cry and regret.

Please !! If God really exist, please make sure there's no problem in what I am going to buy in November.

Most of the people will ask, " why should you still need to get those supplements while you knew there's fake supplements in the market?" I rather take risk. The risk that might not only lost my money, but also will effect my health. Warren Buffet ever said, "risk is everywhere, even you breathing." I knew I need those supplements to bring me to the higher level of body building, and I am going to take the risk.

Fright Night ~~

Today, a very normal raining Thursday, a very normal school day. But, i am having a bad perception on it.

I used to enjoy every of my Thursday, since secondary school. WWE Smack Down Show, night market, and nice movies on TV are all at Thursday, I just enjoy my wonderful Thursday.

But now, in 2011, September, 5th Semester of my diploma program in TARC. I hate Thursday. I just hate it because it caused me have to stay in college for 4 and a half hours, 270 minutes to wait for another after the early 8a.m class which make me have to wake up at 6a.m to prepare my stuff.

For the first week of 5th semester. Today, I went to watch a movie with my classmate. I got quite long time didn't go out with them, since I have to rushing back home for either workout, or working. But today, I decided to join them for a movie show, at TGV@Wangsa Walk.

Our first choice is suppose to be < Nasi Lemak 2.0>. However, due to timing problem, we switch to watch a show called < Fright Night >.

If you ask me about the movie, I will tell that it only worth 60 %, for a Hollywood movie. I personally felt that the backgrounds of the movie are too narrow, it can talk about something else more instead of just focusing on the hero and the vampire. Basically, the movie is just showing us how the Vampire, Jerry are killing people. In my opinion, they should emphasize more on the story of the profile of Jerry, the Vampire. They could tell more about the history of their clans, their weakness and competency instead of just showing how they suck the victim's blood.

For the climax part. If I  were the screenplay. I would add on more scene about Charlie Brewster fighting with Jerry, I will make Charlie Brewster stronger, at least brave enough to fight Jerry when he realized his neighbor were caught by Jerry. Besides that, I will also emphasize more when Peter Vincent are fighting with the vampires, not just make him loaded full armor and just simply let the vampire splash on him and turn him into vampire.

Overall, it is still a movie that worth to pay RM 9 to watch. But it could really be better, and I think the problem is about the investment to the movie. The story is actually good, but I think they just need more budget to make it impressive. Again. Proved that investment is really important in doing anything. Hopefully my next movie, < Warrior >, will impress me.

Emotional? Or rational?

Recently, few of my friends told me that I became even more mature than the past, I looks like being so rational to deal with the issues of feeling and thought. Well, I really feeling so happy to all this compliments, thanks to all my friends who feel that I am getting mature.

One of my friends asked me, " Don't you feel emo sometimes? Even when no one is around you?" "No, not at all." - That's how I answered. 

I got problems also of course, but I always remind myself to do what should I do, not what I think I need to do. There's is so much different between two, one is rational, the later is emotional. To the path of success, I always stay in rational, try to think everything happened scientifically, analyse everything by the facts and caused. Most importantly, no emotional thinking are involved when I am making decisions.

Life is not just about love, don't just keep on thinking about how to get a partner to company you while you are boring, to share your feeling with you, to have a pretty girl friend, or a handsome boyfriend to be proud. I enjoy my single life, because my rational told me that I am not good enough to have a girl friend, neither mentally, nor financially. I have to become more mature, financial status which is more stable before I could really take care of someone willing to give her heart to me. " I LOVE YOU" is not just three simple English words, it's a responsibility, a promise to someone you really care. Think properly before you speak it out.

12 September 2011, the most meaningful day in my life.

I used to worry when people ask me, "what are you doing yesterday?" But for now, I really wish there is more and more people ask me about this, because I really feel what I did yesterday is really awesome.

Around 3a.m in the midnight, I get a called from my cousin - Jenn, she told me Milky ( her dog ) is giving birth, and ask me to assist her brother, - Brian, to help Milky to give birth safely

First time helping a dog giving birth, both of us just like a white paper and totally blank. Luckily cousin already consulted some pet's doctors before that, and just very lucky, all the puppies are safe, and so healthy.

The process of helping a dog give birth is not really that complicated as I thought, it is easy, but have to be very careful. Here are some of the step to help the dog:

1. Help the dog to pull the puppy when she born it out.
2. Secondly, take off the protect of the puppy, and let the mother eat. This is to ensure the dog able to regain the nutrition back, so it's won't getting old so fast.
3. Thirdly, cut the uterus, and slowly slap the butt of the puppy softly, to make the puppy cry.
4. Lastly, have to teach the puppy how to feed. Have to get your finger to let the puppy learn to suck, then let it feed by the mother's breast.  

 After 6 hours of birth, finally the 8 little puppies are born so safe and cute, our mission is completed. Frankly speaking, I really feel so nervous when helping the dog, I just afraid that I will hurt the puppy, but so lucky, all the puppies is fine. Here are some of the photos:

I am sick, but I am still able to train.

Today is not a good day, I am not feeling well in the morning. As usual, I vomit and headache. Because of this, I can't go to work for the day. I knew the store is lacking of staff now, just hope my absent will not give them a big trouble.

After a few hours of nap, I am feeling better now, just a little bit nausea right now. But I still have to train, I still have to build my muscle. Work can rest, study can rest; but body building can't rest, I just have to continue training, harder and harder, until I totally exhausted.

I used to do a combination in my training, workout two parts of muscle for every session of my training. But lately I found that this method is not effective enough, especially for me to have a High Intensity Training (HIT). I realized that when doing combination training, I not only spent too much time on training, and I even got not enough energy to do full force on the second muscle part training.

However, from today onward I will start doing sore part of muscle training, so that I can spend my energy all in the certain part of muscle, to get higher intensity on my training. I wish I can get a very good performance in my biceps training for today, so that I could get a very painful muscle on the next day. Frankly speaking, I got long time don't have that kind of feeling, feeling of the muscle bursting in my body, the feeling of painful for the next few days after training.

Another night that make me rewind my past ~

Had a wonderful chat with one of my best friends - Jason Tan, just now. But the content we chat about is getting me a lot of memories, it's something that I force to think about it again and again. He ask me a very great question, and I just not sure whether I really answer him from the deepest of my heart, and am I really mean what I meant. Haiz ~ Tonight will be the wonderful night to use my brain to think, to recall, and to analyse.

Motivation !

Man alone with himself...

This will be a great week, a week with Hari Merdeka, and also Hari Raya. I believe everyone is having their plans now, vacation, movie session, hang out with old friends and so on. But I am an exemption, my plan for this week, even this semester break is only work, and gym.

I am not the kind of person who like to live lifeless, like to being alone, but I keep can't escape from the category - man alone with himself. I try to empty my free time to spend it with my friends, but seems like just no one care. I knew I am just a jerk in previously, I knew everyone is hated me; I changed, I get off all my bad attitudes, at least I try so hard for it, but, nothing's different.

Life...life...life.... What is my life? If someone ask me, "what is your life about?". My answer will definitely be, "body building and work, and myself." Haiz !! Timing is really not on my side, I just can't have right timing to get involve with my friends. I have been alone for whole day, the moments I really talk to someone is when I spent my 2 hours in gym. Other than that? I just talking to myself, inside my own brain. 

I don't want to think any more, not worthy at all. Being alone is not bad, the terrible part is you feel empty although you are in a group. I am being alone now, but I am not empty, because I knew I got a lot have to achieve, and I got no time to feel empty.

I just being too steady ~ OH NO !!

It's 3:30am in the morning, I am still here and update my blog. I should be having exam later- in less than 12 hours later, yet, I still here- not for study, but fun.

I think I am being steady with the examination, or maybe just too steady, and it make me nervous- nervous because I am not nervous. Sounds confusing, but that's how I feel now. I realized I just put lesser effort on my study, most of the time just thinking about work and earn money when I graduated from college. I think I feel bored in college life, just feel that I can learn myself for what I getting at college now. Overestimated myself? Maybe.

Friendship !

I do remember I said before, "friends is not important, I just want to climb to the top, alone !". This is how I behave like in the past, a loneliness loser.

Succeed mean nothing, if no one you can share with. I finally realized this, and hopefully it won't be too late. I used to think that money is everything, with money, I can get whatever I want to, have anyone with me. This is so wrong, it's freaking wrong mindset, money is not only thing in life, and it's not important at all. I always think that I am so low ; because I got low income, low status, low quality, and also low height. I always complain all about that all the time, just because I am not rich enough, yet, I forgotten all the best part of my life.

I got a complete family, family that every members treat me like a prince. I got a gang of friends, a gang with all the pretty girls, friends that always remember my existence. I got a job, not really earn so much, but it can afford me to have a lifestyle that I've been asking for. I got a good brain, not really genius, but smart enough to solve problems. For all I got in my life, I am great and I should be happy, what can I ask more than that? Be rich like Bill Gates? Be smart as Einstein? Be famous like Michael Jackson? That's impossible ! 

I have to thanks to Belle Lee Boh Ying, she is the one who make me realized that friends is so important. She let me knew that the best part in our life is to have a gang of true friends that will never forget your existence. Without her, and also the FB group created by her, I think I might really being alone, for the rest of my life. Thank you, my best ji mui. I told you that you are the most important girl in my life, when we are still couple: but I just want to let you know that you are still the most important girl in my life, you are just my ji mui that can't be omitted in my life.

Reality is materialistic ?

"Not everyone is the same", "you will find someone who are not materialistic". All this sentence I had been listened again and again, but, I just can't believe what these sentence about. Or should I say, I believe no one is not materialistic, because this is reality world.

Girls always claim they just want to find a partner who can give them secure, comfort, able to take care of them. But what they actually want is, able to give money for them to spend. I ever heard someone told me this, "guys may able to treat the girl the best he could, protect her; but, nothing give more secure to a girl than money does." Many of you might disagree, but try to ask yourself, especially for guys. When you make your partner get angry, what is the best method to get her forgiveness? Hundred times of the word "Sorry", or, just the simply two alphabet called "LV"? The answer is so obvious right. I dare not to say every girl, or every female is this kind, but I dare to say more than 80%, especially those who looks pretty.

You might still looking for a girl who are not materialistic, who are truly understand you. You may give a try, but I bet the probability is very low, especially you looking for girl than can make you proud of. Don't waste your time to do things which is nearly zero percent will success, that'a not what a investor should be. Instead of thinking how to look more handsome, how to get closer to a pretty girl, I rather do nothing, but try my best to earn the maximum cash I could. The best appearance for guys is branded and confidence of a rich fellow, best talent is the earning power. Remember, you can only make choices when you got the great wealth.

Malacca one-day-trip, awesome ! Part 2

Malacca one-day-trip, awesome !

Well, since I have been staying at Selangor for very long time, never been to any others states since Chinese New Year. Just today, me, and my cousins went for a Malacca one-day-trip, to express our stress caused by assignments, pressure of working.

All of us wake up not that early today, due to the birthday celebration of my cousin, Jenn Tan. We just have our breakfast at SS2 McDonald, around 10 something, then only we start our travel to Malacca, the world heritage city !

Driving in the wide highway, with a very long distance should be very boring for everyone, nobody will really like the feeling of sitting in the car for such a long time. However, this is totally for us, at least for today's trip. "Which is faster? A Subaru Imprzza Turbo? or a Proton Inspira?" The answer is Subaru, but, it is not the winner of the game if both of them race. Why I say so? Because I proved it by myself, in our trip today. My another cousin, Brian Tan had race with a Subaru Imprzza Turbo, the Impreza is damn fast, we just can't even beat it, the Impreza slower it's speed when it overhead us, increase full force to overhead us when we are in front of it.. The race had stand for about half an hour, we are the winner. Why? because the Impreza had came out with white smoke, can't even run faster that 60km/h. Brian and my cousin's boyfriend, Teng, said most probably is the intercooler spoiler spoilt due to the heat taken by the engine, therefore the driver must let the engine back to normal temperature then only can back to normal. This scenario let me realized that, better car with high performance not hundred percent will be the winner, there's always chances to came out like today's result, based on some external factors.

To be continue~~

Speechless feeling

As usual, wake up in noon, had a lunch for my "breakfast". Went to work, being late as usual. Today is a very ordinary day, until the moonlight is lighting my lonely and inspiration.

I can feel th changes in myself, not just physically, but also in mentally, my thought. I think I hate to being like a good guy, which is just not suit my image; I want to be a bad boy, a person that I should be, the real me. I have made a lot of decision recently, not so important, but do play a important role in my life. I guess I just want to leave everything past, those unhappy memory, make it past tense.

Don't ask me what am I going to do, what am I think for the future life; because I got no idea at all. But, I can tell that, I JUST WANT TO BE THE REAL ME. I just want to discover myself, what is my philosophy? what is my target? What I really want? Girls? NO, at least at this moment.

Timing

“曾经有一份真挚的爱情摆在我眼前，我没好好珍惜，直到失去了才后悔莫及。人生最痛苦的莫过于此。” This is a quotation from the movie "Monkey King" by Stephen Chow, yet, it is applied to my situation now.

I never felt this empty before, just feeling like I am being alone in a black box with no light. I used to think that Gemini is kind of person that can be so unemotional, being so cruel, but seems like I am wrong. I still feeling so regret about the decision that break up with her, I knew that I am still keep on thinking about her, all the time. I am the one who say break up, but why I being this way? 

But I believe deeply, that time will be the best eraser in the world, sooner or later I will accept this fact. EDWIN SKW !! DON'T THINK TOO MUCH ANY MORE !!

Celebrity Fitness !!

Just went to Celebrity Fitness@SS2 Mall and asked about the fees, after my breakfast with my cousin, Brian Tan. The fees is only RM135, unlimited use for the month; but, the register fee is RM 345, which included first and last month of the contract period, RM75 extra fees. If I can sign up before Wednesday, I could get extra 1 month free in the gym, really worth it.

However, there's is something I am concerned about, which is about the money. The RM345 is really affordable for me, but, I still not get my salary yet. But I must pay the fee and sign up before Wednesday, how? Borrow from my cousin? I got no idea at all. But, there,s always solution, so just take it easy.

I admit I got less passionate about gym recently, but thanks to Jenn Tan, I got all my passionate all back. She just keep on show us her friends' body to me, and saying that, "why you and Teng( her bf) no six packs want? Both of you trained for such a long time." I must achieve some result, result that can impress everyone !!

Celebrity Fitness !! Here I come !!

Winner? Loser? Which path you in?

"I want to be the winner of the game, not the loser." There's always a favorite quotation of everyone, but do they really know what is the difference between the winner and the loser? Do they really know how a loser behave like? Here are some of the difference between the behavior of losers, and also the winners.

Loser:

• Stalk pretty girls' photo, in Facebook.
• Add pretty girls that got many mutual friends, but not actually know who is that girl.
• Simply talk to pretty girls that on his friend list, but not really know the girl.
• Simply like or comment to pretty girls photo or status.

Winner:

• Take nice photo and upload to Facebook, wait for girls to comment and like.
• Accept friend request from girls
• Only talk to girls that find them.
• Girls like or comment to their status nor photos.

Based on this comparison, I think I am a loser. But its okay, I just can't be the winner.....yet. Here I set a goal for myself: before 2012, I must become a winner, at least not to do anything that a loser did. This will be my promise to myself !!

The another me.

I am sick of my life, there are unlimited bad things happened to me recently: broke up with her, owed Digi bill fees and line barred, having relationship with classmates and so on so on......

I think I am totally a person who are totally failed, what I got with myself? Car? Money? Talent? Intelligence? No ! I got nothing at all, I am just nobody with nothing at all. But is okay to me, because I am still alive, I can make a change, I want to be the one with everything, the winner, not the loser.

The reason of creating this second blog is to express my idea, my thought and also the progress of my life. I don't expect it would be popular around people that I knew, or read by others that I don't know. What I want is just wish that I can be hard working enough to blog this every single days, to criticize my own life. 

WARNING !! This will be a very boring article, it will covered up my philosophy of life, philosophy of body building. This blog will emphasize more on my thought, not on my daily activities. I wish this blog will attractive enough to encourage people to THINK, to live on their own ways.